My children are gatherers, especially when outside. For years I have been accepting offerings of broken sticks, pieces of acorns, squashed dandelions, fragile leaves and the occasional bug. Some gifts are beautiful in their own way, but most are broken, perishable and often a little sad. The offerings themselves are not what I love. The […]

Grief is unpredictable and I’m often surprised by the things that tip me into a sea of sorrow. So many thoughtful friends and family often check to see “how are you doing today?” I appreciate the addition of a concrete time frame. It’s far more manageable to express how I’m doing today than in general […]

Time is an interesting thing. At exactly this moment eight weeks ago, I was cleaning up lunch and getting Jane ready to take a nap. Robert put her down and she called out from her room “Toodles, love you!” as she did anytime we put her down to sleep. This normal exchange seems both like […]

To finish one long and hard day, only to know that the next day will be more of the same is defeating. We are all probably moving a little slower these days. Most days I feel like I’m moving through molasses. I’ve also found that one of my struggles with sheltering in place and social […]

It’s officially spring break in our city. Though who knows what day it is any more. Sometimes I wonder if that’s the pandemic or grief. It’s probably some of both. Our plan was to be at Disney World this week. We planned the trip last fall. Even after Jane’s passing I thought the trip might […]

I never want to paint the picture that all is well or that all is lost. Social media and a blog are unique things. I realize this is only a snap shot into our life and I have full control over how much or little I share. I also realize that just like face to […]

I’m aware that we are living our worst nightmare. It’s probably fair to say that it is most people’s worst fear. Losing a child. We lost our perfectly healthy, beautiful and full of life daughter. It wasn’t expected and it was completely out of our control. I believe that fear and anxiety stem from a […]

Two years ago we stood before our church family and dedicated Jane Frances Martin to the Lord. We gathered with friends and family, we prayed over Jane and told the Lord “we are but stewards of this good gift”. We’ve dedicated all of our children to God. Both formally amongst our church family and privately […]

Grief has changed my posture, but faith has fixed my gaze. It’s been two weeks since we laid Jane’s body to rest. Our dinner table has an empty seat, the Tupperware has remained perfectly in place, the sounds in our house have changed, my lap remains empty for movie night and the scent of her […]