A Posture of Grief, a Gaze of Faith

Grief has changed my posture, but faith has fixed my gaze.

It’s been two weeks since we laid Jane’s body to rest. Our dinner table has an empty seat, the Tupperware has remained perfectly in place, the sounds in our house have changed, my lap remains empty for movie night and the scent of her is fading from her room. We miss Jane terribly from our life and we miss the absence of her in our future.

“The Lord bless you and keep you; the Lord make his face shine upon you and be gracious to you; the Lord turn his face toward you and give you peace. May you sow good gospel seed for Christ.”

I hadn’t even realized how many plans and dreams I had for Jane. Some were never meant to be and some we’ve seen come to fruition even in the last two weeks. Every night Robert would pray over Jane, “The Lord bless you and keep you; the Lord make his face shine upon you and be gracious to you; the Lord turn his face toward you and give you peace. May you sow good gospel seed for Christ.” That prayer and hope has come to pass.

God has blessed, kept and shined his face upon Jane. He has been gracious to her and given her peace. We also know that through Jane’s life and now even in her death good gospel seed has been sown. So while I mourn dreams that will never come to pass, I cling tightly to the better plan of the Lord. Grief has changed my posture, but faith has fixed my gaze.

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