Out of Control

I’m aware that we are living our worst nightmare. It’s probably fair to say that it is most people’s worst fear. Losing a child. We lost our perfectly healthy, beautiful and full of life daughter. It wasn’t expected and it was completely out of our control. I believe that fear and anxiety stem from a loss of control and uncertainty. It’s my human nature that wants a plan of action, something I can master.

We haven’t lost control, we’ve merely lost the illusion that we were ever in control.

A pandemic has now swept across our world. In it’s wake is death, fear, sorrow, isolation and anxiety. We haven’t lost control, we’ve merely lost the illusion that we were ever in control. Having experienced great loss, I thought perhaps I would feel anxiety and fear more. It would be easy to claim, “We’ve suffered enough!” “Our hardship quota is full!” Instead, I’ve found something entirely different. Where my hands naturally want to grasp more tightly, God has relaxed my grip. When I remember who really holds all things in His hand, it is easier to stop trying to hold it in mine.

But God is greater and His Word is true.

We are being carried through an intense fire and God has done nothing but prove His faithfulness. Psalm 56:3-4 says, “When I am afraid, I will trust in you. In God, whose word I praise, in God I trust; I will not be afraid. What can mortal man do to me?” We are still at war with fear, anger and anxiety in our home. I trust it will be a continued battle until the end of our days. But God is greater and His Word is true. He has equipped us and is fighting for us. Sometimes it comes down to repeating truth over and over again. God is good. God is sovereign. God is with us. We are standing on the promises and the Word of God. Maybe you feel like your life is out of control. Maybe fear and anxiety are reigning in your home. Loosen your grasp. I stand to testify that even in our pain and even in our suffering, God is enough. God will sustain. God is good.

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