A picture is worth a thousand words. That’s the saying. Since having our first baby eight years ago we have tried to choose certain traditions that we thought we could maintain no matter how many children we had. I’ve made baby quilts, kept a (sometimes sparse) baby book, and had newborn photos made of each […]

There was an overwhelming tension of emotions as we pulled away from the hospital this week. Just five months ago I was leaving another hospital with my husband. Tears streamed down my face both times. On this occasion, I was leaving with my baby, last time I left without my child. The paradox of grief […]

Robert and I lost a daughter in February, but my kids also lost a sister and best friend. Grief is complicated and messy. It grows more complex by the sheer number of people grieving within our home. Parenting children that are grieving is a delicate and fluctuating experience. All of our children are beautifully unique […]

We took our vows seriously on our wedding day, and we have every day since. Our vows were long. I remember looking through the proposed vow options in the packet given to us by our church. I couldn’t decide, Robert liked them all and so we combined them. There was something of the traditional, for […]

This week Robert and I celebrate ten years of marriage. There will be no expensive international trip and we will be fortunate if we get to eat at a restaurant for dinner. This milestone looks different than I probably imagined it would look just a few years ago, but it is actually much sweeter than […]

Grief is unpredictable and I’m often surprised by the things that tip me into a sea of sorrow. So many thoughtful friends and family often check to see “how are you doing today?” I appreciate the addition of a concrete time frame. It’s far more manageable to express how I’m doing today than in general […]

Time is an interesting thing. At exactly this moment eight weeks ago, I was cleaning up lunch and getting Jane ready to take a nap. Robert put her down and she called out from her room “Toodles, love you!” as she did anytime we put her down to sleep. This normal exchange seems both like […]

To finish one long and hard day, only to know that the next day will be more of the same is defeating. We are all probably moving a little slower these days. Most days I feel like I’m moving through molasses. I’ve also found that one of my struggles with sheltering in place and social […]

Easter without Jane is not without hope. It’s our first holiday since Jane passed away. We miss her terribly and the ache of her absence is profound. Of all the holidays we could have experienced first without Jane, I’m so thankful it was Easter. We celebrate Christmas big at our house. Thanksgiving bears many standing […]

Two years ago we stood before our church family and dedicated Jane Frances Martin to the Lord. We gathered with friends and family, we prayed over Jane and told the Lord “we are but stewards of this good gift”. We’ve dedicated all of our children to God. Both formally amongst our church family and privately […]