We need to reframe the idea of “being grateful.” Gratitude does not replace grief or loss but comes alongside it.

We have hope because we serve a God of redemption. We have a God that works all things for good for those who love Him. (Romans 8:28) We serve a good God who does not change like shifting shadows. (James 1:17). We have a God who we trust to make all things new. (Rev. 21:5).

Gardening was a hobby adopted later in my life. I enjoyed growing herbs, simple wildflowers, and some vegetables. Things like basil and zucchini are some of my favorite things to grow because they develop quickly, and the harvest is bountiful. Other plants take more care and attention, and it may be a much longer wait […]

Gratitude isn’t a betrayal of my grief. My grief hasn’t gotten any smaller, but my heart has grown. My capacity to hold joy and grief together has increased exponentially.

The clock read 6:04 am. I laid on my left side with most of my body uncovered by blankets. It was September 17th, and our temporary rental home was hot. Maybe it wasn’t that hot in the house, but I was always hot at 39 weeks pregnant with my fourth child. My eyes squeezed tightly […]

“So what are you hoping has changed since this time last year? What differences do you want in your life?” They were thoughtful questions from my dearest friend who is truly gifted in asking questions and even better at genuinely listening to answers. I knew the answer but struggled to articulate it. “I don’t want […]

Christmas doesn’t feel very merry this year. “I haven’t said Merry Christmas this year,” I admitted to Robert. He looked at me slightly confused, mostly because I blurted out the statement with no context. I went on to explain that as I was checking out at a store earlier in the evening, the woman behind […]

Five years ago I was cooking a thanksgiving meal in a different home with much different circumstances. Here is what I wrote on that day. “Today I am literally barefoot, pregnant and in the kitchen. While my husband and little girls watch the parade, I am overwhelmed with gratefulness. Not just today, but everyday I […]

Every year I write a short letter to my children on their birthday. Today I took time to look at the notes I had written to Jane, there are only two. On Jane’s first birthday I wrote, “Jane, today you are one and I feel completely conflicted about this. You are the baby, my baby. […]

A picture is worth a thousand words. That’s the saying. Since having our first baby eight years ago we have tried to choose certain traditions that we thought we could maintain no matter how many children we had. I’ve made baby quilts, kept a (sometimes sparse) baby book, and had newborn photos made of each […]